LIFE'S A BISH!!!

Life can be difficult… extremely difficult. I don’t think that is a newsflash for anyone reading this.

There was a time in my life where I was pretty aggressively doing dumb, self-destructive stuff on a regular basis. I was clueless and lost. Then, after a very long period of time being a dumb-ass, I made a conscious decision to make a change. And I did that. I made a change. A big one. It’s been over twelve years now since I made that decision and went about changing my ways and guess what? I still often feel clueless and lost.

It’s funny (as in ironic), because when I was screwing my life up big time it seems as though people kind of accepted me as a screw-up and didn’t really hold it against me. Since I’ve made serious changes and am attempting to live a responsible life it seems as if I’ve made several enemies, as if I’ve turned several people who were previously friends, good friends, I thought, against me. I’m not trying to insinuate that these people liked me better as a screw-up. In fact, the people that I refer to probably would opine that I am still a major screw-up and therein lies the problem!

Sometimes I have to tell myself, “Ric. You have helped to raise two children and am bringing up a third! You have brought some measure of happiness and fulfillment to your wife (and vice versa – both in terms of the opposite of what I’ve brought and the fact that she’s brought happiness and fulfillment to me).” But, in general, I am trying my damndest to be a productive, responsible, mature member of society and sometimes it just feels as if it ain’t paying off that great!

So…… now that I’ve had my emotional dump, let me get off of my pity-pot and take a more sweeping and inclusive appraisal of my life thus far.

a) The dumb-ass that I used to be? I’m not that dumb-ass anymore! (I’m a different one – new model! - Demz jokes!)
b) I have a beautiful wife that loves me and three beautiful kids that, though they drive me out of my ever-loving mind and worry me to no end, love me too! And who doesn’t want someone who loves and appreciates them?
c) I’m in decent health. Hell! I’m forty-eight years old! I take a few meds err’day now, but I can get around and do my thing!
d) Though me and mine suffer a lot of setbacks – and we do! Ain’t no need of being disingenuous about it! Life be rougher den a muhfuh sometimes, naw mean? – I’m sorry. I had a moment there…… In layperson’s terms - I was saying… we suffer some setbacks, BUT I take note of the blessings! And there are many! I thank God for those!
e) As my mother-in-law likes to say, life, “never promised us a rose garden.” (Ok! It’s not an original sentiment, but I love her for it anyway!) But we can keep digging those weeds and try and let those roses grow! And, goshdarnit, if we can’t grow roses, appreciate the doggone weeds! In the words of my man, Mac Davis (if you don’t remember him, you’re too young. Don’t worry about it!) “Everything is beautiful/In its own way!

Thanks for reading my rant! God is good and we gon’ be aw-ite!